A Users Manual For People
The blind spot of leaving all formal relationship skill-building out of school and families continues into most romantic relationships. Lust is heavily relied upon to initiate relationships that are often more filled with projection, assumption and ignorance than kind and accurate knowledge. How to respond?
 
One of the things I do is turn to areas of competency for reference. Buying and selling things in America is a fine art. Relationships are in the stone ages. Every product, as simple as a toaster, comes with a user's manual. People, who add philosophy, culture and feelings into the mix (have you ever had a toaster refuse to toast your toast because it was a certain time of the month - my point exactly). That suggests that if anyone needs a manual, it is human beings. So I set out to create a user's manual that shared every useful thing I could possibly think of that I thought a partner might benefit from knowing. Astrology, allergies, love-languages, sexual personas, conversational style, deal-breakers, principles, life-history etc. And I give this to a woman or friend who is interested in a serious relationship. 
 
Again, there are two types of people:
 
Type 1 says: "This is not normal. You actually want me to read a 400 page book about you just to date you?" This is the type of woman who, after a man breaks up with her after six months tells me "If only he had told me he had PTSD and that this pissed him off I would never have done X and we would still be together and why can't men talk."
 
Type 2 says: "That is so thoughtful. I hate guessing and I am so grateful that you took the time and care enough about me and us to actually explain what winning and losing looks like to you. I will read this carefully and give you an honest assessment about whether I think I can be good for you and I'll tell you all you need to know about me. This is great!"
 
Sadly for the relationship statistics in America type 2 is less than 10% of women, and possibly less men (I don't have a sampling of how men would respond to this in a woman they like, but I do have a sampling of a much more playful simple approach in which I got an ex girlfriend hooked up with three growth-oriented men who all said they were interested in relating to her exactly the way I helped her write out her coaching script: "Approach me like this, for this reason, in this way and we can engage like X, Y and Z." I heard men who did not know either of us raving about this website so I think some men at least respond well to being invited to engage clearly, warmly and specifically so they will not be set up to fail. 
 
I hope that soon every human being will come with a user's manual, and would consider it an honor to read yours, if for no other reason than that it will put you among the 1% crowd who has the self-respect, stamina, time-management skills and kindness to sit down and write one, which makes you someone I'd like to know.